Sunday, September 13, 2009

of Friends and Family

Well THAT was a longer break then I had anticipated! Sorry about that! Things just got crazy around here, and I was out of the habit of blogging, and well, it obviously just didn't get done.

Rather then drone on and on about what I've been up to (vacation in PEI, trying to sell the house, busy with both jobs), I'd like to just talk for a bit about something that's been on my mind lately.

I was raised to cherish my family, that family, all family, near and far are important, are THE MOST important things in our lives. Our families are what grounds us, family is what teaches us who we are.

I always thought that once you were family, you made an effort to get to know each other, to support each other, and to be there for each other. But I'm beginning to see that that's not always the case. I've found that there are a lot of members of my family, who are only "family" when convenient. Who are only there for you if they feel like it, or if it benifits them in some way.

I've been told a few times that I'm not invited to welcome to certain "family" event because it was an event only for "close friends and family". And I stopped and wondered, am I not family? I mean when does family stop? Is it only siblings, and our parents? Or do cousins count? If cousins’ count, do the people your cousins marry count?? For me personally, they ALL count, family is family, and I don't draw lines one way or the other.

I often feel like I have made an effort to get to know new members of my family, only to be treated as an outsider. Is it because I don't go to the same church as they do? Or, because I'm not Christian enough for them? I know it takes more effort to get to know me, if you don't see me once a week in church, but I always thought that family was worth it.

When they were hurting, I was hurting, I cried tears of sadness when they experienced tragedy even though I didn't "know" all of them. I’ve celebrated with them when they got married, or had babies. Why? Because they are FAMILY, because families are supposed to look out for each other, and be there for each other.

But the more I think about this, the more I believe that our friends are the family that we choose. I have been blessed in my life with some really good friends, friends who take the time to make an effort to get to know me, and friends who are there for me whether it's convenient for them or not.

I don't want to get jaded, and I don't want to put walls up and block people out of my life, but I sometimes wonder, at what point is it ok to stop trying? or IS it ok to stop trying? If family isn't as important to someone else as it is to you, then what?

I don't really know if this post is going to make a lot of sense, I'm still really trying to get everything straight in my own mind... but please feel free to add your input, or personal experience in the comments, I'd love to hear what you have to say about family, friends, and everything in between.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i don't belive that all family is family, there does come a point when enough is enough for sure. i believe that friends can be just as close if not closer then your family cause they do make time for you adn you usually trust a friend more than a family member and tell them more about your life and that is why you would probally turn to your closest friend before turning to your family cause your closest friend knows everything about you....